Here's your quarterly state-of-the-Watchy update... if anyone ever still reads this. Highly unlikely. Not even my parents, I'd imagine. However, I should be keeping track of things for my own sake, if nothing else, and a lot is happening.

One of the reasons I haven't written much is secrecy. This year has been full of lies. Things I don't want people to know, things about me people don't want other people to know, things people don't want me to know... and I really hate that. I would almost like to get everything off my chest here and now, but it's not that simple, because then other people would be unnecessarily hurt.

Sometimes I really wish I still had someone around to tell me what to do.

Anyway, my contract will be up in June. I would like to renew, but due to cutbacks it seems my job will no longer exist. This isn't certain yet, but considering the dicks who run my school yelled at us today for having the lights on in our office while we were working, I doubt they're going to be willing to pay for what essentially amounts to a cute foreign decoration. Previously my entire contract was paid for by my program, but this will no longer be the case... or so I'm told. I refer you to my original point about dishonesty on all sides.

Now, this leaves me with two likely options: the safe route or the risky route. The risky route would be for me to finally attempt that move to Europe, probably the Balkans or Poland, since I don't need an EU passport to work in those places. This would require a significant initial outlay of capital and then of course I might not even get a job. However, I'd be in Europe.

The safe option would be to go for another contract in Korea, most likely public school which would probably start at the beginning of second term around the end of August/beginning of September. I am almost positive I can find such a job and it will pay at least well enough for me to live without worrying about money and to save a little. In this case I would have about two and a half months off, which would allow me the trip to Europe I am planning for this summer as well as probably some time back in Canada. I miss my family and there will be a new addition to it by then; my first nephew or niece. I hate babies, but maybe this one will seem cuter since I'm related to it. Anyway, I feel I should introduce myself.

Before Jordan and I ever met in person we talked about this and I said even then that what he was suggesting was a very bad deal for me; well, I got into it anyway. It was too good not to. It's pretty fucking rare that I meet anyone I get along with so well and I really couldn't pass up the opportunity. I'm not sorry that I did so, just as I'm not sorry I got into that relationship with Paul even though I also knew at that time that I was setting myself up for no end of hurt. I got that, and it still hurts five years later - in fact, he may well be in Korea soon as a sort of temporary radiation refugee, and I can't even begin to imagine what to do about that - but it was worth it. In both cases I felt at the beginning that what I was doing was wrong, and in both cases I went ahead with it and the ensuing pain feels almost like penance. I guess that's messed up. I also guess I'm mostly talking to myself at this point since no one outside my head will have the first clue what any of this is about.

In better news, I saw Iron Maiden play last Thursday. It was a ridiculous price to pay for a band I only sort of like. (On a "liking" scale of -10 to 10, they would have been about a 3). However, I was paying for the band plus the concert atmosphere plus a rare chance to have a memorable experience with Jordan. I love the atmosphere at concerts; it seems quite religious in its nature. As for the shared experience... of course we have lots of them, but most of the time we hang out in his room playing video games or watching movies. We rarely DO anything. Most of our weekends are indistinguishable, and I really wanted to have one night worth remembering.

As for my non-Jordan free time, I recently bought a lot of books secondhand and am working my way through them; I am also trying to learn all the major alphabets I don't already know. This means Greek, Arabic, Hebrew, Hindi and/or Khmer. Greek was quite easy considering I know Cyrillic and studied physics in high school. Arabic is rather difficult but I have mostly got the hang of it, though it is impossible to fully read without knowing the language. They don't write most of the vowels. Neither does Hebrew, if I understand correctly, but at least I won't be staring at scribbles any more. I have also managed to beat Rock Band on Hard and get about halfway through on Expert, which makes me feel just awesome.

I guess that's good for now. I could talk about Japan, but the news does it better anyway. I am saddened by the whole thing while being repulsed by my own enjoyment of seeing what has been termed "disaster porn" - the endless images of sorrow and destruction which I can safely view and think "Wow" because it didn't happen to me. I am, at least, relieved that my friends are getting out of Tokyo.

I leave you with a quote, one of my favourite quotes so far this year, from one of my weirder friends: "A penis is like a party on a stick."